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Nihilism is Overrated

from The Curse EP by Escape the Stake

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lyrics

i feel like this isn’t my real life
i think real life will happen once this body dies
they’ll put me in the ground, maybe i’ll turn into a tree
and i won’t hurt anybody and i won’t care when they hurt me
when Pat said ‘we’re all compost in training’
i didn’t expect that to ring so true
but i’m sick and tired of sitting here overthinking
i won’t kill myself, but that don’t mean i don’t want to
cause i kinda want to

i think nihilism is overrated
i have to believe there’s some meaning in this
but i realize the shit i say sounds jaded
cause the truth is i never asked to exist
and i don’t want this
i never wanted this
i don’t want this and i’m sick and tired of all this bullshit

i still think there’s a curse on my head
and i used to have someone who made me less scared of it
but every sweet thing i have turns rotten
i don’t know why i expected any more than this
spread me like a feast, turn me into a garden
let the foxes eat my flesh, grow some ferns with my bones
when i am everything and nothing
maybe i’ll finally be happy and finally be home

but i think nihilism is overrated
i have to believe there’s some meaning in this
but i realize the shit i say sounds jaded
cause the truth is i never asked to exist
and i don’t want this
i never wanted this
i don’t want this and i’m sick and tired of all this bullshit

i used to think i could die like Inman
up on a mountain, surrounded by love
but i don’t think that’s in the cards i was given
i might be on a mountain, but i think i’ll be alone
when i let go of this
when i leave all of this
i’ll try and wait for it, but i’m tired of all this shit

credits

from The Curse EP, released May 15, 2020

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Escape the Stake Missoula, montana

they/them. i make songs sometimes

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